He says “Is it okay to use saliva to clean instead of water? You sometimes do rub my face with it to remove smudges”
Reflecting on his query I reflect that it is not such an awkward one. This sudden spike in his interest makes me realize that this may not be such a bad thing. I hope to be fielding more questions from my sons. It is true, that as grownups we do not express curiosity about the person who gave birth to us. (It could be because we are afraid of what we may discover or be afraid that we may be not be able to deal with it.) Even so, asking these questions is probably one way you can be more intimately acquainted with your parent and discover new things about her, in spite of having spent a big chunk of your life with her. After casually discussing the matter with my pals, I have formulated Five questions that will get you going. You can probably start with a few on Mother’s day. This may even lead to discovery of hitherto unknown facts about yourself:
Given the chance, is there anything you want to redo as a parent?
In a chat I had with an acquaintance whom I consider an ideal parent I uncovered something really surprising. She had always been there for her children, but now that they were grown up they were neither self-sufficient nor did they acknowledge her efforts. “I would have been better off not doing so much for them. A few failures and the resulting punishments would have done them a world of good” she said, after what I assumed was a great deal of reflection on this very matter.
What was so special about my dad?
This question can bring about the weirdest answers from claims that he resembles a musician or rock star. The fact that your dad has no talents in that area and the musician in question has really offbeat looks makes you wonder at her choice. She will probably then substantiate this claim with the fact that he always respected her for her brains and education. It is good to know that your mother chose your father for a more substantial reason than just his looks.
Are we similar? If so, in what ways?
If not, in what ways are we different? This question is probably asked as a means to reaffirm that we do possess some of her good qualities and maybe confirm that it is our differences that make us get along so well. The answer we are seeking for this question may not necessarily be the truth but may provide us connection to each other or maybe as an excuse for our tiffs.
Who is your favorite child?
No mother wants to answer this query. But this is the chance for you to get her to delve into the good qualities of each child. Since you are the one asking you can bask in her praise for the good qualities she says you have. While you are asking a question like this you should also be prepared to face the possibility that she may actually name one. That would definitely give you something to brood about.
Are there any secrets that I should know about?
The lady who added this query to my list had just discovered that the maiden aunt who lived with them was in fact her father’s mistress. Knowing that this situation was accepted by all three participants (mom, dad and mistress) was the shocker. Your discoveries may not be quite as fantastic but hopefully it will open up new and deeper aspects of your interaction with your mother.